Tuesday, September 27, 2011

Catching up on Old Times with Chuck Hall (warning: possibly NSFW imagery)

I'm sure you all remember Charlton "Chuck" Hall.  He's the leader (and sole member) of the Black Mountain Druid Order, the creator (and sole practitioner) of Mindful Family Therapy, and the head (you know the drill.. ) of Culture Artist, a group which seeks to educate people on sustainable living. But despite wearing all those hats, he still finds the time to be a censorious shitbag who throws temper tantrums when he is called out on his misbehavior.    

A month back, Chuck gifted us with some truly impressive tooth-gnashing and mouth foaming on the comments section of Wild Hunt. When he realized he was making a public spectacle of himself and putting his businesses (such as they are) in a bad light, did he say "Gee, maybe I should consider some anger management therapy?"  Did he say "I should avoid acting out in public, seeing as how I am trying to run a business?" Did he say, "Boy, I sure look like a pluperfect horse's ass, and maybe it's time for me to count to 10 and slink away. 

What do you think?

And so Chuck was mocked and scorned for a few days, then flushed down the memory hole like so many other turds before him.

Fast forward to this morning, several weeks later, when I received a comment on Google+ from "Sencha the Druid" informing me that "A complaint has been lodged with Google and the FBI about your stalking and harassment."

For those who don't know: I'm a veteran of the Usenet flame wars, who served my first tours of duty on FIDONet back in the days when insults had to travel over phone lines via UUCP.   I've long since retired from the fray, but no warrior ever really gives up the fight.  When some bonehead comes around waving his ass cheeks in the air like a lust-befogged baboon, I'm contractually obligated to pick up the paddle and use him like a none-too-bright piñata.


And so I gave him 15 minutes of my time, and some of my Photoshop skills. The final mashup combined Charlton "Chuck" Hall and GOATSE - a perfect meeting of the minds if ever there was one.

I assumed this would cause Chuck to hop up and down in a most entertaining fashion, and I was right.  In a series of Google+ comments he accused me of being a "child molester" and asked "Why do you hate therapists so much? You must have had a bad experience when they put you in the mental hospital." (Because accusations of crime and mockery about a target's mental health are an invaluable part of any therapist's toolkit).

I flagged a couple of his comments, and noted to him that "Sencha the Druid" wasn't going to pass muster under the G+ "real names" policy.   He reiterated his claim that I was guilty of "stalking and harassment" while bragging that I had brought him several new referrals.  Soon after that, his G+ account disappeared.   And so I figured this had ended with a visit from the Black Mountain Druid Order People's Front Suicide Squad.

Then I see this on his Facebook page:


LOL...apparently somebody created a fake Google+ account in my name. For the record, I don't have a Google+ account. If it's who I think it is, I may need to delete my Facebook account as well. If I do, I'll keep in touch by email. If you're interested in staying in touch, message me and I'll send you my email address.


Nothing says "I've just been spanked like a red-headed stepchild" than the Hacker X defense. But Chuck is nothing if not persistent. He has since reported me to US-CERT and the Internet Crime Commission for "cyberbullying and harassment." (I'd love to see the look on Agent Smith's face when he sees the Chuck/GOATSE mashup which has been entered as "Exhibit A"). He also friended me on Facebook using his "Titus Agnosticus" account after I specifically requested he not contact me again, all to remind me that I was stalking and harassing him.

I am glad to see that after nearly a decade in retirement, I'm still able to inspire such passion with just a few well-placed keystrokes. Trolling really is just like riding a bicycle.